14 August 2006

Headless Chicken testimonial

Being someone’s assistant could be compared to selling your soul to the devil, never having a dull moment, or accepting the fact that life as you know it will change forever. In the words of Mrs. Wilson (Helen Mirren) from Gosford Park, “I am the perfect servant; I have no life.”

Here is a snippet from the Day-In-The-Life entry of Lorraine, assistant to Neil Gaiman (http://www.lorraineamalena.blogspot.com/)

…Being a Personal Assistant is like shooting from the hip.
You have to be fast, you have to be ready.
If it goes wrong, oh, and it will, you will take the blame.
If it goes right, that's good because that's how it should be.
I, however, know that I am appreciated.
My Boss has the sweetest temper going, and is one of the kindest people I have ever met.
I know everything I do is really really important.
He has told me so, many times.

I lay in my bed, wishing I had got everything I wanted to done, and run over my various affirmations for the day tomorrow.
I will get my e-mail under 500.
I will get tomatoes staked.
I will be friendly, funny, and try and get to the gym.

Then two very very truthful, simple and profound things occur to me and I smile.

I so love my job.


Thank the Gods that I am not as busy as my Boss.

Yes, I so can relate ;)

10 August 2006

It has come to this...

This week I got to thinking of those moments in your life when you sort of hit rock bottom and are forced to re-evaluate everything at that instant. I know that my travails can be petty when placed beside others but I decided to take stock of some of them anyway.

1. Why won’t you just die?!?
My mantra in the late 1990’s whenever I looked at a Speedo silicone swim cap given to me by someone I went out with in the early 1990’s. I eventually gave it to a friend so that I wouldn’t have to make eye contact with it anymore so it’s probably still alive somewhere in her (or someone else’s) dresser drawer.

2. The bag lasted longer than the boy.
It’s cool to date someone who showers you with gifts since they’re out of town a lot. Then the relationship takes a nose dive and you’re left using that sentimental yet functional hand-woven Benguet province backpack / sling bag until it succumbs to my mantra in #1.

3. I bought a ream of PEEL Orange Menthol.
Why? It was cheaper than buying it by the pack (Php5.00 less per pack to be exact). This after having an argument with someone in the last century who needed to borrow Php50.00 for a pack of Marlboro Reds, among other things. My battle cry at the time was, “I will not support a vice!”

4. Eating alone at the buffet table because there was no more space for you at the table of your elder(ly) relatives.
I guess this is a family gathering moment but it really made me feel like a driver because I literally went to the Sunday lunch in the alleys of Makati since no one else could drive my Tita to the venue. She had a blast though since these people were her in her age group and they had a lot of catching up to do. Post-lunch was an improvement for me since we all crowded around a little TV set to enjoy a Manny Pacquiao (?) match.

5. Eating alone at the Grade School canteen.
This one actually was a funny experience for I decided that day to try a different menu (I usually dine at the High School and College canteen of the school I worked at). There were a lot of students around the GS canteen but I didn’t know any of them and vice-versa so no one took the chance to sit across the table from me and strike up a conversation. I enjoyed my meal a lot but I had to guffaw at the thought that this must be how it feels to be a ‘loner’.

6. My slipper gave up on me…on the Ayala Center walkway at 9ish on a payday Friday evening en route to late dinner with friends at Greenbelt 2.
Nothing shoots down your self-esteem faster than rushing from the Park Square 1 car park to a G2 restaurant in your nice dress and newly painted toes than having your footwear fall apart in mid-stride. I had to immediately pull myself together and coherently identify the nearest store that sold slippers (shoes were out of the question because of above-mentioned pedicure) and that was still open. Imagine looking like Igor (Yesss, Masterrr…) as you drag your foot (and the rest of your shattered self) toward the nearest escalator and then the nearest store that would hopefully resolve your dilemma while trying to maintain your composure on that busy walkway. Then add bumping into a student of yours who cheerfully introduces you to her father so you have to feign a leg cramp to justify your foot-dragging fiasco. Insane! My ordeal slightly ended when I reached Addidas where I had to settle for the Php1,000+ yellow and blue slippers with Velcro (the only pair that looked decent and matched the dress I was wearing that night).

7. E-mail re Pantry Supplies
I work in an office where the people on my floor are college graduates with diplomas. Some of them with many more years of work experience than me. They’re good to do business with and take lunches / coffee breaks with, but not all of them have grasped the concept of the General Pantry (free for all) and the General Manager’s Pantry (ask permission from the Office of the GM first). Hence, a number of cups, saucers and spoons were taken from GMP to the GP then have disappeared from the face of the planet thanks to these individuals I consider professional colleagues. In my attempts to maximize their learning skills (auditory: speak to them about it and visually: posting an OGM notice on the GMP cupboard), I’ve had to resort to sending out a general e-mail (visual-kinesthetic?) requesting that they check with the OGM first before taking anything out of the cupboard. On that note, don’t get me started on my office female restroom issues.

8. Someone stole the hand soap.
Okay, we have to foray into one restroom issue. Really though, isn’t it a bummer when the janitor tells you that the bottle of hand soap was on the restroom counter before he left the building at 9:00pm the previous night then it was gone when he checked the restroom again at 7:00am today? It just blows my mind to think that now I’m looking at some people in the work place as a potential kleptomaniacs of (of all things) hand soap.

9. I discovered www.wikipedia.org at 11:00am because I finished all my tasks for the day.
I only heard about this website recently (mostly comments about it being a little misleading) because I tend to stick to specific topics when I surf (Stephen King, Harry Potter, Bruce Springsteen, Neil Gaiman and Meg Cabot to name a few) so I decided to check it out the other month. Now it’s my no-brainer online refuge when I’ve got time to kill. As of now I’m reading up on World War I and will probably check out World War II next week.

10. There’s a spot on my car. And another one. And another one. And another one…
I get all trippy when I think of Lucien (Lulu), my car. It’s such a fun vehicle to drive. Am most grateful for it when you have to parallel park into that small spot, or make that right turn at the intersection what with the limited space in between the tricycle and the sidewalk, or when I have to buy gas (13 kms./liter). However, I have promised myself NEVER to purchase a white car again. It is a bane to the existence of us obsessive-compulsives. All those streaks and stains and droppings that you catch with your peripheral vision and then just need to attend to everyday, sigh.

11. I went to the gym to catch Seinfeld.
I’m ecstatic that Star World decided to show Seasons 1-9 of Seinfeld on weekdays since April this year. I get to have a half-hour laughing fit (7:30pm-8:30pm) at least once a day, Monday to Friday (this could increase if I catch the 7:00am and 11:00pm reruns). This ritual was almost derailed when our TV set of almost two decades lost its volume control last Sunday. I started doing the math in my head: Season 7 started last week so the series will end in…November! Fear of missing an episode has inspired me to hit the gym this week. Thank goodness for those machines with the individual TV set, remote control and headphones. In my head I planned my routine so that I could use the rowing machine then switch to the skiing-like thingy (I have no idea what that cardiovascular equipment is called. Mental note: must find out one of these days) with minutes to spare before the start of the episode. I actually pulled it off then had a slight physical challenge when I realized that I wanted to catch Rock Star: Supernova right after Seinfeld. I tried to use the only available treadmill but, alas, the headphones were busted so I had to use another skiing-like thingy for an extra hour, yikes! Well, I relished my TV fix at the gym although I had to constantly remind myself not faint from overuse of that cardio machine. Besides, I’m going to do it all over again tonight, haha!

Yep, life could be worse.
Hope your days like these are far and few ;)

06 August 2006

Running round in circles through my mind

I heard these lyrics on the radio the other morning and to this day I'm trying to figure out what song they're from and who sang them...

"...You kiss me like an overdramatic actor who is starving for work..."

Penny for you thoughts?!?